dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
