lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
