Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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