If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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