i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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