It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
