found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
