What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
