if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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