just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
