He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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