Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You took a bar mat shot.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
