She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
