if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
