So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We are all done wearing pants today
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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