I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
nutella sex= disaster
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
