i think my tv is drunk
there was a trapeze. enough said
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How's work?
Spinning.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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