I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize