are you still at the devil's house?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize