Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
