Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
