i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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