If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
