I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
we're chasing vodka with high fives
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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