OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
