Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
