Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like death gave me a hand job
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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