just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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