she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize