I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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