I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
