what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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