I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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