absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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