his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
