If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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