This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
