There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
