Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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