tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
