dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize