Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
