Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
