Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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