I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
