Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
