yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
