I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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