Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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