we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
