sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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