the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize