thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We have started to decorate penises.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
