If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
