If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
