...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
