hotel room ftw
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
