You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
