Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
