Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
