The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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