I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
